Thursday, January 12, 2012

Time to Get Real

I read this blog today. Moms lie.  They lie about how clean their house is.  They lie about what their child can/can't do. They lie about all kinds of things to save face.  It's ridiculous. I hate lying.  I can't stand doing it, and I loathe being lied to.  Why has lying become so essential in our lives? It's time to get real.

I'm a stay-at-home mom. I love it. It's tough, don't get me wrong.  It's certainly not the hardest job in the world, but I feel like it's the most important.  When people ask me if I work, I tell them no. I lie.  Truth is, I do work.  I'm raising a child. I'm keeping the house. I'm doing laundry. I'm cooking. I'm being a wife.

A few months ago, Ryan and I got in a really big fight.  When he would come home, He would plop down on the couch, eat dinner and then promptly fall asleep. On the couch.  I fixed dinner, I took care of Hannah and I would be still trying to get things done around the house.  Ryan would also get upset when he wasn't getting any attention when I put Hannah to bed.  I WAS/AM TIRED!  I told Ryan that he leaves work everyday, he's off work.  He doesn't have to deal with work things once he leaves work.  I work 24/7.  I never get to "clock out". When Hannah wakes up, it's ME who has to go get her and figure out what's wrong. When laundry has to be done, it's ME who's in charge of getting clean clothes in the closet & dresser.  When we need groceries, it's ME who has to shlep out to the store.  He finally got it and pitches in a lot more, but that's not the point(Nor is this post about what Ryan does/does not do).  The point is, women, especially Moms(working or "not") have a lot going on. 

I'm very blessed to have a husband who doesn't expect to come home everyday to a spotless house, Hannah fed & happy, dinner on the table waiting, and me, waiting for him with a beer and slippers.  This is not the 50's and this isn't Pleasentville. Things are never perfect.  God bless those women who have houses where they need no warning for people to pop in and spotless children.  Please tell me where you find the time to get it all done. 

Please do not show up to my house unexpected.  Please let me straighten up & shut a few doors first.  I'll probably need to change out of my nightclothes, because I haven't had time to change yet and brush the teeth I haven't had time to brush yet.

When you're a stay-at-home Mom, there are things that are expected of you.  You're expected to have more time to get all kinds of errands done, you're expected to have an always clean house. You're expected to have a gorgeous cooked meal on the table every night. You're expected to That Mom. We're expected to be the Bree VanDeCamps of the world. That's not real life. What's real life is not having more time to run errands, because I'm not about to take my kid to the grocery store, post office, or wherever during her naptime or when she's been in a horrible mood all day. What's real life is that gorgeous cooked meal on the table every night, is actually fast food Ryan picked up on the way home.  What's real life is, that "spotless house" actually looks like this...


Master Bedroom...

Our den...

Our kitchen...

Our laundry room with clothes that need to be folded & put away and there's a load waiting in the dryer to be put in that hamper!


Hannah's room. The only room that actually stay clean..Notice H napping..


Master Bath


Everyone has those perfect, get-everything-done days.  There are (more often than not) days where I cook meals that we both love.  There are plenty of days where my house is clean.  There are plenty of days where I don't have any errands to run because I've done them all.

So there it is y'all. A mom's dirty little secret.  The house isn't spotless, we're probably ordering dinner tonight, and I've yet to shower today.And you know what?  I'm perfectly fine with that.  I'm not perfect and neither are you. I'm happy.  I've got a happy child. Ryan and I are happily married.  I've got a wonderful Heavenly Father who's taking me to Heaven.  Nothing else matters.


P.S. When Hannah naps, I take atleast an hour to myself. I watch Friends.  I don't do anything I don't WANT to do.  Sometimes that means folding clothes during commercials.  Sometimes that means showering.  Sometimes that means laying on the couch with some Ben & Jerry's. And you know what?  That's ok.

Monday, January 2, 2012

"Fireproof doesn't mean a fire will never come, but that when it does, you'll be able to withstand it"

If you have never seen the movie Fireproof, stop reading this right now and go watch it. If you're married, watch it with your spouse. (And I'll buy y'all some salt & pepper shakers afterwards.. ;) )


 http://fireproofmymarriage.com/

"Love is a shelter in a raging storm
Love is peace in the middle of a war
And if we try to leave, may God send angels to guard the door
No, love is not a fight but it's something worth fighting for"
"Love is not a fight" by Warren Barfield